I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
