I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
