That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
