Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
