I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
