No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
