I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
home. puking in laundry basket.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
