I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
