We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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