WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize