i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
