Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
