smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
