She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
