i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
