He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
