Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
