Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
