I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
