get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
