it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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