Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
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