Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
