i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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