she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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