sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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