the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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