Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
