well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
