just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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