We're facebook friends in real life
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
