I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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