i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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