he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
