then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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