my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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