Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
