This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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