It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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