did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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