let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
