false alarm. still invincible.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
