I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
