She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
