What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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