Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You can't special order awesome
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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