Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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