I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
