Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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