Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
