I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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