it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
