i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
