I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
