the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
