I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
