Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
