This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
